I haven't felt the way I feel today in ages, or a year, at the very least.
I feel like everything may be falling apart. I know it is not, and in another couple of days I'll be back to normal but I just hate feeling this way. I hate realizing that everything I have worked so hard to be, is only one mistake from vanishing. The worst part is that it does not even have to be my mistake. It could be anyone's and I fear that it will be someone's. I feel so helpless. I feel like everyone has control over my life rather than me. My boss controls how many hours she's going to give me and what my paycheck will be. Shauna controls her own actions which have a direct affect on me.
I know that at some point the bullshit that I deal with from day to day will make me snap. Not in some psycho way. I just know that the way things are are not the way that things can always be. Sometimes I feel like things are going well until I realize that, well, they are not. I just hope that things change before I get fed up with them.
An excellent quote is coming to mind right now..."Sorrow get so heavy and joy it tends to hold you with the fear that it eventually departs."
I've come so far. If I get pushed back into the past then that will be it for me.